My 2011 Goals

2010 was a great year. Time to do even better.

• Become financially stable: I need a steady job. Figure modeling is great, but not always reliable. I at least need a reliable part-time job that I can fall back on if babysitting or modeling is light. And it needs to be a job I enjoy, because I obviously can’t stand working even a mildly bad job for too long. So it’s back to waitressing! As soon as I get back in town I’ll be applying like hell for serving gigs, as well as trying to book up January with modeling. Once I’m stable I won’t have to panic about money and I can start saving up for future purchases and a rainy day fund.
• Get back to good eating: I’ve completely fallen off the wagon eating paleo. Especially over the holidays, I’ve looked at sugary, grainy confections and thought “Just this one exception.” But I’m making exceptions almost every day. I’ve been getting caught in sugar cycles and the cravings are coming back. Need to reel it in and get back to more meats and veggies. I plan to download more recipes, cook more at home, and do stricter shopping. I plan to update more about food on the blog too, which is incentive to keep eating well.
• Enroll in a dance class: I miss dance. A lot. Also, I could do with some more exercise in my life since I’m no longer walking everywhere like I did in college. And it will make me a better model. I’d like to do a few different classes: definitely a ballet class for classical training and a fun class, something like jazz, swing, hip-hop, or burlesque. I definitely want to pick a class where I can perform again. As soon as I get financially stable, dance classes will be one of my first investments.
• Get more involved with Atlanta Objectivist Society: I like socializing with the local Objectivists and I’d like to work more with them more to promote my values. So I plan to do as much as I can to promote and organize ATLOSCON and I’m considering moderating an Atlas Shrugged discussion group. (I really enjoyed the breakout groups to discuss Atlas at the Clemson Summer Conference.)
• Make my apartment feel like home: I want my apartment to be my own space. I want it to reflect my personality, be a place to bring friends and family, and be a safe haven for me to work and relax. Through thrift store shopping, lots of DIY, and borrowing concepts from the Not So Big House series, I plan to slowly cultivate my apartment into a place of my very own. I also plan to phase out the cardboard furniture and plastic cutlery with real tables and silverware. It’s a dream I’ve had since high school and I’m very excited to bring it to reality.
• See more of Atlanta: I want to get to know the city better. See the sights. I definitely want to explore Little Five Points more. And a better understanding of Atlanta roads would be nice. It’s also important to explore new museums and galleries in the city to meet new artists and build clients.

There’s more I want to do and I’m sure new goals will come up as my life changes, but I’m more likely to stick to this list if it’s short and sweet. What are your plans for the new year?

Nudity in Art: What’s the Big Deal?

During one of my modeling sessions some artists and I were grouped around a painting in progress and discussing it. In the painting I was seated in a chair, head in hand, looking pensive. From the artist’s angle, the chair covered my breasts and torso, showing only my legs, face, and a bare shoulder. ”It could definitely be in a show,” commented on of them. I agreed; it was a well done painting. But what she really meant was because it didn’t show any nudity, it would be allowed into shows. I was a bit surprised by the clarification and learned that many shows do not accept paintings of nude models. The other artists verified it and shared stories of other instances where art featuring naked figures were hidden. For example, an artist said she knew some people who didn’t invite children to their house because of nude paintings on their wall.

I was shocked.

I shared my own stories of being advised to never post pictures of paintings of me in the nude because I teach and it could ruin my career opportunities. Much to my surprise the artists agreed I shouldn’t post anything. After all, once you put something on the internet you can’t take it back.

As break ended and I got back into the pose, I got to thinking. (Because really, what else can you do while holding perfectly still for 3 hours?) The more I thought about restrictions on nudity in art and in my own life, the angrier I got. It was stuck in my head as I got dressed and by the time I got home, I was in full rant mode.

I understand that I don’t know how certain decisions I make now will affect me later. And given that I’m the only person that comes up when you Google “Miranda Barzey”, it’s wise to limit what I put on the internet. But I hate that posting an artful nude of myself on the internet is something I should be cautious about. It’s not erotic, it’s not porn, hell, it’s not even a direct picture of me, but because of some mother’s potential irrational reaction somewhere in the future, I have to hold back. I hate that. Art modeling has been made such a positive impact on my life. It’s cultivated a new interest in fine art and completely changed my outlook on my body for the better. I’m proud of the work I do. So the idea that I can’t occasionally share the fruit of my labor because other people might have an issue with it is infuriating. It’s ridiculous! In no way does my nude modeling affect my teaching. It’s not like I’ll whip out a naked poster of myself in ASL class and use that to teach anatomy signs to kindergardeners! And if we can praise art like the Venus de Milo, which required a naked figure, what makes my modeling so scandalous? It’s fine to post paintings of other women nude, so why not me? Why is the world so afraid of breasts?! AGGHH!

It make me want to take every picture I have of my nude paintings, smear them across the internet, and dare anyone to condemn me. It makes me want to have someone paint a life size painting of me, naked, flipping off all the prudes in the world. I want to cast off cautiousness, act impulsively, and be a martyr for art in the job market.

But I’m not going to do that.

Instead, I’m going to rant and rave and bitch. But I’m also going to think. At the moment, I can see no rational reason not to occasionally share paintings of myself that I find worthy of showing off. But I do lack experience and I’d rather not screw myself over if I don’t have to. So for now, I’m refraining from posting pieces online, though I happily share them with friends and family in person. But that annoyance is still there and if I don’t come up with any good reasons not to, expect me to post my work.

Miranda’s 2010 Accomplishments

Inspired by Jenn, Kelly, and others, I’m taking a minute to tally up my accomplishments from the past year. The beginning of the year is a bit fuzzy, so most of this is from summer on.

• Had my 1 year Blogiversary at my old blog, Ramen & Rand
• Made the tough decision to drop out of school and move to Atlanta
• Started this new blog, Building Atlantis
• Moved to Atlanta after a long summer spent looking for jobs and driving back and forth for interviews
• Attended my first Dragon*Con and loved it!
• Survived being a nanny for a family I didn’t fit with
• Got through a tough period after leaving the nanny job where I had no steady job or home
• Learned a lot about myself and my relationships through Myers-Briggs personality types
• Taught photography and American Sign Language classes at a homeschool co-op and had a blast doing it
• Became an art model and discovered the beauty of my body
• Got my first apartment

This year has been a big step for me towards independence and taking control of my life. I’m so glad I got through all the tough stuff of moving to Atlanta. I love my life and where it’s going. I’m looking forward to the next year and what it will bring.

Christmas Eve Roundup

Merry Christmas Eve! I’m back home and doing some last minute stuff to get ready for tomorrow. I’m very excited for the presents, food, and jollyness tomorrow will bring. Here’s some a collection of internet stuff to make you merry and bright.

Links:

• A Very Mischievous Christmas: Taken from my old blog Ramen & Rand, a story about how Christmas is still fun even when the kids are grown because of my parents’ sneaky present wrapping activities.
• How Different Age Groups Celebrate Christmas: A hilarious and true comic by The Oatmeal
• Holiday Decorating Inspiration: I drooled over a lot of these decorations and had the sickness not gotten me, would have done some DIY versions at home.
• Awkward Family Christmas Photos: Oh my goodness.

Quotes:

“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.”

-Hamilton Wright Mabie

“The charming aspect of Christmas is the fact that it expresses good will in a cheerful, happy, benevolent, non-sacrificial way. One says: “Merry Christmas”—not “Weep and Repent.” And the good will is expressed in a material, earthly form—by giving presents to one’s friends, or by sending them cards in token of remembrance”

-Ayn Rand

“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day.  Don’t clean it up too quickly.”

-Andy Rooney

 

“Christmas–that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance–a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.”

-Augusta E. Rundell

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.

-Dave Barry

Black Swan Movie Review

I saw Black Swan tonight with Reid and it was awesome! The previews had really intrigued me and despite my dislike for suspense/thriller movies, I really wanted to see this one. And I generally like Natalie Portman’s movies. I’m glad to say the movie didn’t disappoint and I definitely recommend seeing it. And then I recommend reading the rest of this post afterwards. In the meantime, here’s some cool movie posters.

*Warning: spoilers. Save this in your reader and read it after seeing the movie.*

The movie is depressing, creepy, and gruesome. But it was damn well done. I’m not so interested in Nina losing her mind, but how. Knowing dancers and the intense stress they’re under, if a ballerina was going to lose her shit, it would happen similar to the movie. Striving for perfection, getting completely lost in the character, and being paranoid about other dancers stealing the spotlight would definitely characterize a dancer’s psychosis. I hate when movies build up a person, then they do something completely out of character all for a cheap twist. But Nina’s path followed her character. Obsessed with perfection, she was literally dreaming of being the Swan Queen. After waving in the background for years, getting a lead part was her life. Literally. Nina does nothing else but dance. Ironically, the single-minded passion/obsession that granted her the technical ability for the left her with no ability to perform the Black Swan character. Hard to play a lusty character when you live with your mom and your room is full of teddy bears. This stress of not being perfect, combined with the perception of Lily being after Nina and her stardom would obviously push the already unhealthy Nina over the edge. (And really, who wouldn’t be crazy if their mother painted a bazillion portraits of them looking like Gumby?)

Nina’s progression mirroring the Swan Queen story was also well done. She started as the white swan: innocent, sweet, timid. She wore lace nightgowns, a down-soft white scarf, and pastel warm-ups. She never looked anyone in the eye and was easily defeated. With some prodding from Lily, she begins to shift to the black swan character. She talks back to her mother and goes out, despite rehearsal the next day. When she puts on Lily’s sexy black top (the first dark bit she wears in the movie), she then takes drugs, makes out with boys, and gives into her sexuality. She completes the metamorphosis during the performance when she kills Lily (but not really). No longer disgusted or worried about her growing rash, she fully embraces herself as the black swan and sprouts some fantastic wings. And gives a killer performance. When she returns to her dressing room to become the white swan again, the shock of reality- Lily is alive, Nina stabbed herself, she is bat shit crazy- causes the darkness to fade. She realizes she’s dying and accepts it. Of course. First she was a the white swan, then the black, and now for a truly great show, she must embody the jilted white swan at the end and like her, jump to her death. She dies after giving the “perfect” performance. I think it was a prime way to end the movie. It followed the characterization of Nina and the plot of Swan Lake. I would have been furious if after all that, it would have cut to a scene of her in a padded cell, just before rolling the credits. The movie needed a dramatic end and bleeding out in front of the whole company after giving the performance of a lifetime was certainly it.

After the movie I was gushing to Reid about the awesomeness of the movie while he was still digesting it all. After he thought a bit and I was talked out, he compared it to A Beautiful Mind. He had some trouble understanding why Nina went psycho in the first place, but of course he could understand why Nash would lose it. (Duh. Math.) Then ensued an interesting conversation where I tried to compare working on a solo dance part to working on a difficult problem. Not sure I succeeded, but it was fun to see how our separate understandings of math and dance would lead us to understand the psychosis in one movie, but not another. (Because I’m still a bit confused about A Beautiful Mind.)

Tell me what you thought of the movie. If you cheated and read this before seeing it, watch it and come back. I’d love to discuss it further. Also, I’d like to see more movies by this director. He’s also done The Wrestler and Requiem for a Dream. Any thoughts?

Visit to the Titian Exhibit at the High Museum

I had a lovely Sunday yesterday with Reid and Kelly yesterday. We met up with Aaron at Ted’s for a delicious lunch and then set off to the High Museum to see the Titian exhibit. We had a good time on the train ride over talking about Lord of the Rings (which Reid and Kelly are obsessed over and I’m just now listening to) and crazy people we’ve met on MARTA.

The Titian exhibit was beautiful. Not all the paintings were by Titian; some were by his Italian contemporaries. I was a bit disappointed that the exhibit was so small; only two rooms compared to the vast area taken up by the Dali exhibit, a waste of space in my opinion. Nevertheless, I did enjoy looking at all the paintings, discussing the stories behind them, and sharing opinions on the works. It was much more enjoyable to have friends there to talk about the paintings and hear their points of view. I also decided that I really want to be painted as a Greek goddess or a damned woman in the Bible. I would especially love to be Venus! I enjoy posing for classes and artist meetups, but the works produced are always half-done studies rather than a finished concept painting. Here are some of my favorite paintings from the show:

Diana and Actaeon

 

Venus Anadyomene (Venus Rising from the Sea)

Afterwards we walked through the permanent collection and visited some old favorites. Reid also pointed out pieces he was drawn to and we noticed a definite pattern of depictions of confident, often scholarly men, deep in concentration. It was interesting to contrast the paintings I was drawn to, which were often beautiful, confident, usually feminine women with my body type. I think both of us were drawn to art that embodied the traits we admire within our sexes and want to see in ourselves. I’m really glad he came with us and had a decent time.

Towards the end of the trip I browsed a photography exhibit by Peter Sekaer. The photos were taken mostly during the Depression and were informal and subtle images of people and places. While none of the images blew me away, I could definitely appreciate the kind of personality it takes to enter people’s homes and neighborhoods and shoot such relaxed photos. The subjects always seemed straightforward without any kind of walls between themselves and the camera. Here are some of my favorite photos:

(heh)

On the drive home Reid and I talked about art and listened to Lord of the Rings. All in all, it was a good day. Now I want to visit other museums!

No More Music Monday

I’m getting too frustrated with not being able to embed videos that contain music. So no more.

Life Update

The lack of blogging this past week is brought to you by the common cold, which had me (and many other Atlanta Objectivists) out of commission for a bit. Luckily Reid was here to bring me tea and medicine and do the dishes. (Isn’t he great?) I’m still sniffling, but am back to working.

Here’s an update on what’s been going on in my life:

• Had a great time (despite being ill) at the Reason’s Greetings party for AOS last Saturday. I enjoyed meeting Trey, as well as some local college Oists. I think it’s time to start meeting more people my age in Atlanta. Unfortunately, I think I got a lot of people sick that night. Sorry guys! Hope you’re all feeling better.
• I quit my crappy secretary/semi-telemarketer job. Yeah, I know. I’m a serial job quitter. But I just can’t stay in a bad job for too long. I plan to figure model full time-ish and babysit. Also, I’m still teaching at the homeschool co-op, which brings in some extra money. I think it will be okay-I’m pretty popular with artists and Objectivist mommies- but if not there’s always waitressing, which I like and am good at.
• My apartment is starting to come together. With lots of hand-me-downs from friends (thanks!) and some thrifting of my own, my apartment isn’t just a bunch of blank walls anymore. I have real furniture and dishes! Granted, there are still gaps, (plastic forks, cardboard bedside table) but I’m working on them. I’m very excited about whipping the place into shape and making it my own. I’ve been reading a fabulous book about value dense house design and I can’t wait to apply those concepts to my apartment!
• I completed my first session at homeschool co-op and I survived! I really enjoyed getting to know all the kids and I’m glad many of my ASL students are signing up for my class again next session. I’ll post an update soon with the results of each class.
• I’m in the last leg of the His Dark Materials series. Everyone keeps telling me I’m going to throw the book against the wall at the end. I’ll let you know. So far I love the series and might dress up as one of the characters for Dragon*Con next year.

Inspiring ASL Sign Songs

I’ve been drooling over this girl’s sign songs lately. Her interpretations are so well done. Her performances are concept driven and very ASL, versus an English-y word by word translation. She also signs along really well to the music, matching her signing to the beat and vocals. And best of all she puts so much emotion into the performances, which I think a lot of people leave out when they do song interpretations.

Watching these songs and digging into the cocept translation has really inspired me to get back to signing. I hope to go to more deaf events (which is difficult given they are so far away) and look into taking more ASL classes next semester. I’ve definitely plateaued in the past year with my signing, and I’m dying to do better.

Enjoy the videos. Although you may not understand the specific signs, I think the average person can understand her expressions and glean meaning from many of the signs. Let me know what you think. I’d love to hear what non-signers get from these videos.

(Sorry, but you’ll have to click through to see the videos. It’s well worth it. Promise!)

Little Old Lady Me

I wonder what kind of old lady I’ll be. I get to thinking about that sometimes when I watch movies about old folk or talk to my Dad (who’s  60 years old!). I think about if I’ll be a posh old lady with fitted suits and curled hair. Or maybe a hippie old woman with a long gray braid, loose linen clothes, and dirt under my fingernails. Or maybe I’ll be a crazy one spouting nonsensical stories while I push my cart of stolen trash down the street. And dear god, what will happen to my boobs?!

But I mostly think about what I’ll think when I look back on my life. Will I be content with it? Will I want to be young again or still be kicking at 70? Will I have albums of photos of adventures across the globe that will make my grandkids go wide-eyed? Will I be in a house that I bought when I was young?

I wonder, I wonder.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.