Small Steps to Style: Discover the Right Basics for You

There’s all sorts of lists floating around the internet about the essential basics for every wardrobe. While I do believe everyone should have a set of workhorse pieces in their closet, I don’t think there’s a prescription that fits everyone’s life and style. For instance, most basics lists include a white button up shirt, black and khaki pants, and a pant suit. I never ever wear any of those things. I prefer dresses to pants and I don’t work in an environment that requires much dressing up. So much for the prescribed essentials.

Before wasting money on “vital” pieces you might not really need, take a minute to assess your needs.

• Recognize that basics don’t mean boring: Depending on your personal preferences and lifestyle, your basic pieces could be classic and conservative (jeans, blazer, cardigan) or wild and fun (mini skirt, high heels, sparkly throw). A basic piece is whatever you reach for time and time again when putting outfits together. My basics include skinny jeans, striped boatneck shirt, white maxi skirt, neutral cardigans, colorful dresses and skirts, and fun earrings. Forget what the magazines tell you and go with what works.
• Look at the dress codes in your life: If you work in a corporate office, it’s important for you to be professional and conservative (depending on the company). If you’re a stay-at-home mom, comfort and washable fabrics are your priority. List all the different dressing situations in your life (work, weekend, date night, client meetings, etc.) Figure out what functions your clothes must serve to fit all aspects of your lifestyle. What qualities are most important in each situation? Do you need to have very separate and distinct wardrobes for work and play? Or do most of your situations mesh well together?  Depending on how many unique dressing situations you have, you might find some basics that overlap in many areas of your life.
• Check for gaps in your wardrobe: Do you frequently feel like you’re missing the right piece for an outfit? You might have a wardrobe gap. Often finding a good workhorse basic can fix the problem. I love mixing prints and bold colors, but was unable to create the kind of looks I wanted to because I lacked essential pieces. After buying a black and white striped shirt, I was suddenly able to make all the quirky outfits I wanted. I could combine it with bright colored and floral skirts, scarves, as well as neutral bottoms and jeans. Keep a notepad in your closet to track any time you feel like you’re missing a piece. Look for trends and brainstorm what pieces might fill multiple gaps and work in lots of outfits.
• Get inspired: Take cues from people with similar style or who are dressing for similar contexts. Look at coworkers, friends, style bloggers, people on the street, etc. By watching what other people are wearing, you might realize that a specific piece would work really well in your closet.

Small Steps to Style: Revamp Your Underwear Drawer

Having a well fitted wardrobe starts with great underwear. Good construction underneath ensures that your clothes won’t snag or bunch and that your figure looks its best.

• Get a bra fitting! A well fitting bra does wonders for your shape. Everyone can benefit from a professional bra fitting, but especially bustier women should get them. This can be done at Macy’s, Victoria’s Secret, or at {intimacy}. I suggest {intimacy} because they have a wider selection with sizes up to a K cup (Victoria’s Secret stores usually only go up to a D cup). They also offer free custom alterations.
• Have a range of bras. With all the different neck lines and fabrics out there, you need a variety of bras to go with your outfits. Try to get at least one smooth everyday bra, one multi-wear/strapless bra, one comfy sports or cotton bra, and one matching bra and panty set that makes you feel like a drop dead gorgeous bombshell. Also consider investing in a good demi bra if you wear a lot of low cut tops or a push-up bra if you want a little more cleavage.
• Have a range of underwear. Again, with all the different bottoms out there, you need a good variety of panties to keep up. Everyone should have smooth non-clingy underwear for skirts and dresses, comfy cotton underwear for lounging and jeans, panties that make you feel super sexy, and a maybe few thongs to avoid panty lines. Especially in skirts and dresses look for underwear that won’t ride up.
• Invest in camisoles. Too much cleavage? See through shirt? Need a pop of color? Put on a camisole! I wear camis all the time. Lace ones are my favorite because they add a little something extra to an outfit and always make me feel more feminine. Camisoles also help smooth over your body so your shirt won’t cling as much to any bumps.
• Get a slip! Sometimes while shopping I come across a great dress, then am disappointed when I realize it’s totally see-through. But more often than not a sheer dress or skirt can be saved with a good slip. A slip helps shape your figure, prevents your dress from clinging, and provides coverage for your bright pink undies. I recommend getting a variety of full and half slips that match your skin color. I’ve found thrift stores to be a great place to find slips as they’re pretty scarce in most department stores.
• Get shapewear! I don’t recommend this for everyday. It would be too uncomfortable and a hassle to squeeze in and out of each day. But for that special occasion with that sexy body-hugging dress? Yes ma’am. Here’s a great video from Stacy and Clinton of What Not to Wear about different types of shapewear.

Small Steps to Style: Subscribe to Style Blogs for Inspiration

Celebrities can be great fashion inspirations, but more often than not their looks are not practical for everyday life. However, style bloggers are normal everyday people with a passion for clothing. Style bloggers are students, mothers, teachers, and professionals with a range of personal styles. Whatever your particular dressing situations, there’s a blogger out there going through the same challenges. They can serve as great examples for how to dress for all occasions, remix pieces, and flatter your figure. Best of all, these are normal women with normal budgets dressing fabulously. My favorite style blogs are Keiko Lynn, Academichic, Girl with Curves, Kendi Everyday, Bleubird Vintage, College Fashion, and The Girls with Glasses Show. Here are some ways to find style blogs that inspire you and take advantage of them:

• Google your style type and click on the blogs filter on the lefthand side to look exclusively for blogs.
• When you find a blog you like, check out their blogroll for more bloggers with similar taste. Repeat as you find more blogs.
• Google style bloggers in your city. They can have invaluable insights into the sales and boutiques near you. Some even offer wardrobe consultations!
• Check if your blogger has a shop. Often style bloggers design or resell their clothes. If there’s a piece you’ve been drooling over, it might just be for sale!
• Check for giveaways or special offers to readers. Established bloggers often have promo codes for discounts at various online boutiques.
• Save photos of your favorite outfits for inspiration.
• Take note of where the blogger got her pieces. Occasionally a blogger might have custom or designer pieces, but more often than not they shop at the same places you do.

Small Steps to Style: Clean Out Your Closet

This is the first of a series of posts about small and simple actions you can take to improve your style. Check back every other Friday for a new post. This week is all about tackling style at the source: your closet!

Good style starts with an clean and organized closet. Cut down on your prep time in the morning and get a better understanding of what you actually have in your closet with these tips:

• Get rid of damaged clothes. Anything that’s permanently stained, has holes, is falling apart, or is otherwise in bad condition goes. This includes shoes! Let go. Don’t be a wuss.
• Throw away anything that clearly doesn’t fit. We’re not getting into the fussy details here of whether something is a flattering fit. We’ll save that for another post. Just anything that is obviously too big or too small. Unless your weight fluctuates often, you just had a baby and are getting back to your old size, or you plan on getting pregnant again, toss it. Don’t rationalize keeping it with a flimsy, “One day I’ll fit into it.” You need to dress the body you have now. Throw. It. Out. (If you are saving larger clothes, put them off to the side so they don’t mix with your current wardrobe. Pull them out when the time is right.)
• Organize your closet: It’s much easier to put an outfit together when you can survey all your clothing at once. So get your clothes off the floor and up where they belong! Hang any clothes that wrinkle easily. Fold sweaters to avoid misshaping. Buy closet organizers if needed. Round up all your accessories. Sort clothes by color and function. Believe me, it makes it much easier to find that one dressy blue top you like when you’re scrambling to get going in the morning. A clean closet will help cut down on morning stress and give you a better understanding of your wardrobe.
• Prep for the next closet clean. Take all your hangers and turn them away from you. As you wear pieces in your wardrobe, hang them normally. You’ll start to see which clothing you don’t ever wear. After 6 months or so, get rid of all the clothes on the backward hangers. Formal clothes are the exception, unless it’s been years and you don’t plan on ever wearing it again. (via Lifehacker)

Simple Activism for Shy People: Promoting Ideas without the Stress

I’ve never really considered myself an activist. I’ve always thought of activists as people who make videos on YouTube, stop folks in the street to speak about issues, and go to protests with a megaphone and a stack of pamphlets. They frequently get into debates and use every opportunity to talk about their causes. They are salesmen of ideas.

I hate selling. I hate debating. I hate going up to random strangers to try to get them to do something. It makes me feel all icky. And I’m a fairly sociable person.

But lately I’ve come to realize those are just a few methods out of a whole spectrum of actions to promote ideas in a culture. It dawned on me that things I do everyday- blogging, designing flyers and t-shirts, moderating a reading group, mentioning ATLOS on social media- are all forms of activism. Suddenly activism didn’t sound so icky. Hooray for options!

Here are some ideas for shyness friendly activism:

• Write! A blog, a letter to the editor, an article for The Undercurrent, a letter to your government representatives, a comment on an article, or even a Facebook status update.
• Link! If you find a video or article that really speaks to your values, share it online!
• Subscribe! Follow blogs and Twitter feeds of people you support. Get a subscription to newspapers, journals, and magazines that promote your values.
• Donate! Consider funding organizations related to your causes.
• Dress up! Get yourself some t-shirts, buttons, bumper stickers, posters, or coffee mugs with messages that relate to your cause.
• Volunteer! Do some work for organizations that you support. Tape up flyers, balance the books, order supplies, run the website, design materials, check facts, make signs, proofread, organize papers, whatever.
• Post! Pin up posters, flyers, and business cards onto public bulletin boards. Leave pamphlets and other informational materials in strategic places like coffee shop tables, communal book shelves (some cafes and restaurants have them), and office waiting rooms.
• Like! Like/vote up articles and videos on Facebook, Digg, StumbleUpon and reetweet on Twitter.
• Request books! Ask your local libraries and bookstores to stock books on subjects you promote.

How to Be a Good Customer at a Restaurant

Having returned to the restaurant industry, I’m remembering all the little quirks that come with being a waitress. One of them is less than awesome customers. Here’s a little how to from the waitress point-of-view on being a good customer at a restaurant.

If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to go out.

“I don’t have enough for a tip,” is a common statement I heard among my peers when the check came. They made sure they had enough money for food, but not a tip. So the waitress was often left with spare change that amounted to a few measly dollars. If you cannot afford to tip your waitress, go to a fast food place or somewhere with counter service. Your low funds are not a good reason to stiff someone who gives you quality service.

Do not sit at a dirty table if clean ones are available.

It’s amazing how many times I’ve watched people walk into an almost empty restaurant and sit at the one table that is dirty, even when there are identical tables nearby. Then follows the awkwardness of trying to clean off a table while people are seated around it. If you get to a table and realize it’s dirty, just move. It’s easier on you and the waitress.
If the restaurant is full and the table must be cleaned off, at least have the decency to stand to the side while the waitress cleans so she doesn’t have to awkwardly reach over you and try not to get crumbs in your lap.

When the time comes, be ready to order.

If you’re not sure what you want, ask the server for some time. If it’s going to take you a really long time, tell your server you’ll wave him/her down when you’re ready. Do not make your waitress stand there for 10 minutes while you weigh the benefits of mushrooms vs no mushrooms on your pizza. I’m happy to help you through the menu and answer your questions, but please do not make me waste time while you make trivial decisions about dinner when I could be doing a bazillion other productive things. This is especially annoying during a rush when I have food in the window or other orders to take. And remember, it’s just dinner. You can always try again tomorrow. So stop fretting so much.

If your upset with your service, gauge the situation before taking it out on your waitress (and her tip).

If you feel like you’re getting bad service, stop and take a look around. If you are one of the few people in the restaurant and you see your waitress chatting up coworkers while your food waits in the window, she most likely sucks. But if she’s constantly running around a full house with drinks, food, and checks, she’s most likely just really busy. I’m not saying you should accept bad service even when it’s busy, but cut your waitress some slack. When your mentally juggling the needs of multiple tables, some things get put on the backburner. Give your waitress a gentle reminder if you haven’t gotten something you need. Most likely she just got caught up. I hate when tables do not speak up about their needs and then bitch about it just before walking out. Give your waitress a chance to right any wrongs before slashing away at the tip.

Tip well.

Unless your waitress was horrible and unresponsive to your needs, tip at least 15% of your check. In most places a server’s wage is a little over $2 per hour, so the bulk of her pay comes from tips. And make sure your tip percentage is based on the normal value of the food. If you have a coupon for half off, it is not okay to half your tip as well. If you saved money on your dinner, put some of that towards the tip. If you’re a good customer that tips well and often, you’re more likely to get better service and even some things on the house.

Be aware of how long you are there.

By all means, take your time to enjoy you meal and company. But if you’re going to be at the table for a very long time, please up your tip. Last week a coworker of mine had two girls sit at her table for 5 hours, basically her whole shift. When you take up a table for that long, the waitress is essentially losing money from all the customers that potentially could have sat there. My coworker easily could have had 4 more tables if the girls had left. At the end of the night, the girls tipped a measly $2. Not cool.

Comment on your service (good or bad).

Most people will bitch about bad service, but do not raise such a fuss for good service. If you had a great waitress, let her know you enjoyed your experience. Even better, tell the manager. You can leave comments on a check, leave a note at the counter, write a review online, or talk to the manager directly. Managers want to hear how the service is, so please, speak up!